You are just the “Filler Friend”

41 Comments

1. Im the friend group leader. Sometimes I enter other friend groups and overthrow the leader, then disband the group entirely

2. THE FUTURE IS DOPE!

   …Can I come?

3. Thumbnail is the album Billy Cobb by Zerwee 🙂

4. "Smile"

   I wish I knew how. I can't smile on purpose; it only happens when I'm actually feeling something worth smiling about. If I try to smile when I'm not feeling it, it just turns into a grimace. I've tried practicing smiles but like, it feels awful to try to force a smile, and it kind of makes me want to not smile.

5. This entire video flawlessly summed my entire life up, fantastic

6. Yo. I can actually break social situations down like this therapist. In person its a lot harder and is very draining so I just save up my mental energy points(MEP( for the highest input to output moments and spend the leftover points at the end of the day kinda like social exercise to expand my overall MEP.

   Flirting, dating, friendships and salesmanship are actually super similar in theory and practice. Hosting a party or entertaining is far easier though since the rules are less vague and there's far less guesswork. You can sort of have a precis or outline for bigger social events of moves you can pull out. Like a list of dirty jokes, a few intellectual topics, finance discussion and current events are all pretty good moves to have.

7. Homes are dope. What's a home?

8. Questions are dope, what type of questions do you like ?

9. Out of all the possible animes Dr.K could use as an example, he picks HENTAI.

10. Imagine 4 npc-like awkward humans having a convo similar to "that's dope! Wanna … together?". xD

11. This video is dope! What was your favorite part?

12. Volcanoes are dope can I come?

    😂

13. Volcano's are dope. Which is your favorite? Dead lol

14. A lot of comments are missing that maybe you're so bad at playing your role in a conversation that the others have to do your work. You don't leave your friends and look for new friends who can drain all their energy for you. You have certain roles in a conversation like explaining what you mean and if you don't do them, the others will have to do them for you. Social skills are skills.

15. Picking up new hobbies and trying a lot of different things also helps a bunch. I can connect with all my friends on at least three or more topics. It means I have plenty to chat to them about and I am also interested in their hobbies too.

    Here's a list of the easiest ones:
    Food & Drink/Cooking
    Video games
    TV shows/Movies
    Sports/Excersise

    So when you talk with someone you can jump straight to "what food or cuisine do you like the most?"
    It's a question that can be applied to ANYONE

16. I would more describe my role in the group as a 'glue friend'. On so many occasions I would bring together two unlikely parties into one big (big for me) group, and everyone would get along in this setting. I was the catalyst for so many long lasting bonds to form between others. But as soon as they did connect, I was suddenly put onto the back burner in terms of interest. Those two people who then became close would start to hang out, by themselves. I would be dropped from group activities or parties. My interests and my invitations would go unrequited, excused or ignored until I would just give up.
    Once is an unfortunate circumstance
    twice is a coincidence
    but three times is a pattern.

17. My favorite thing to do in conversations is to cold read people on top of the 1-2 punch. Just phrase your 1-2 punch as a really obvious question based on what you already know about the person. So I work at a school so if my coworker says "I have PD this Wednesday" I say "Oh, is that at the admin building?" Or "Oh, is that iep training?" Or whatever. They rarely notice how obvious it is, and they basically love you for paying attention to (often obvious) aspects of their lives or jobs. If you are wrong, they usually just correct you and continue to engage anyway so it isn't an awkward silence on your end anyway.

18. IRL run but I can only use "thats Dope!" and smile playthrough. 😀

19. I'm laughing so hard
    laughter is dope btw

20. Filler friends, are those hundreds or thousands of followers you have on social
    media who you never talk to and have never met before

21. Oh quieter side is dope, why you’re so quiet

22. Volcanoes are dope. Have you ever been to a volcano sacrifice. It's an open invitation!1!

23. Even when I showed interest in the activity they don’t bat an eye, even when I invite them, no one is interested, even when I do and try what they like, they think I am being shallow because I don’t really like it, they forget I am just trying

24. What was the card game interview thing has it been posted on YouTube yet?

25. this is me

26. Because small talk isn't dope.

27. I am a filler person really, not just friend. I sometimes find myself in a position of frustration because I forget I'm not entirely speaking my mind. It's a default for me to scream what I want to say inside and forget that people can't read my mind. It's just that, as a filler person, you get so starved for understanding that the field of action you can take to be understood is progressively getting smaller and smaller. And then you feel fake when taking any action

28. This video is dope!

29. Smile like the “Look at me Hector” meme!

30. Pfft, n00bs. Being a "filler friend" is never a problem when you have no friends 😁🥲

31. This video probably changed my life

32. a'ight, that's a nice video. Although i don't struggle with this kind of stuff too much, one of the questions rubbed me the right way – "what to do when you can't relate?" and example being finance and crypto.
    For me this issue kind of persists in my friend group sometimes and still annoys me – most part of my friend group are lgbtq+, while i am a straight cis male. Like, i'm not that i don't relate, i *can't*, you can't tell or explain things like polyamory or being in a bi panic to me that i fell like i belong. (tbh even on a dating field – i had very little experience if any)
    When this kind of talk begins i just kind of… there, can't comprehend or even try to. Brain issue i guess. My friend still like me tho, so there's that.

33. Not a filler friend necessarily, but I do get insecure that I’m just my boyfriend’s plus-one in our group of friends.

34. I saw a filler friend yesterday at the park, third-wheeling while these two people were constantly teasing each others and kissing and shit.

35. I felt like a filler friend for a long time. It took some time, but eventually I came to understand you get out as much as you put in, in a group setting sometimes even more. If you make a bunch of plans and invite the whole group, and they all have a good time, they will invite you to their events and think positively of you which changes future interactions. However if you're "just there and not saying much", why would they think anything positive of you? For all they know, you're sitting there quiet because you don't really like them, or their interests that much. Your relying on their positive feelings towards you and remaining stagnant while everyone else puts in effort to have a good time with each other.

    Either that or they just don't like you that much. Maybe you're in the group because of your connection to 1 or 2 people, but don't really speak to any of the others outside of a group setting. You can't expect people to care about you when it seems like you don't care about them.

    And don't do any of that "I won't text them to see if they text me" bs. Just put in a bit of effort if you want things to change, otherwise it'll stay the same or just get worse… No one will do it for you

36. one of the funniest videos of dr k, enjoyed every single second of it

37. That whole "this is dope segment" was hilarious. Funniest dr k video in a while

38. love the zerwee thumbnail, one os my favorite rock albums of the last few years

39. No such thing as friends, just different levels of getting used.

40. dr k love the videos but your message is not congruent with your video titles and thumbnails

41. Ive been a filler friend for the majority of my adolescence and adult years. I’m 28 with no social life (I work second shift in a small town) and I’m fine spending time by myself but it’s frustrating having few interests that overlap with people I know. I like sports and that’s probably my most mainstream pasttime but that’s really all I have in common with a lot of people I know.

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