CPTSD & The Feeling You Can’t Connect (4-video compilation)

36 Comments

1. It’s only painful because so many other people don’t even know what they’re doing… they don’t pay attention to simple things like following through on a task begun, to start. How do they hold down a job?
   How have they wandered through life clueless for so long?

2. I feel this video is from strictly a cptsd pov and doesnt consider autism and the social, cognitive, and sensory aspects that would also impact isolation

3. My question regarding groups is – so, say I show up to a group, what if those people actually aren't healthy for me? What if that group actually isn't welcoming? How would I differentiate between my own problematic reaction and wanting to exclude myself vs an unwelcoming group with problematic people in it? I've struggled with knowing when to trust my gut and have spent a lot of time around people who I felt actually weren't very nice to me, but then thought there might be something wrong with me for being unable to tolerate those people the way other people seemed to tolerate them.

4. Josey , your amazing, ❤, beautiful and calm Resilient, you have built a resulance , sounds like its time you do you if tbey want to be part of your life they will come visit or halfway , you wish them well then be you , build your own world , after years of being given tit bits , and you getting so happy thinking they've changed, finally they see you for you , no they dont they have some motive, even if its to drop you as soon as you are fed, a bit and you be you then they act by taken it away thats control they've seen forever and might not even realise , you have to realise , they might not know any better, they grew up with it, and thats their problem, wish them well❤ and get on with being you,. Realness , took me 40odd years to realise . Some people , you really, have to exclude, yourself, for your own sanity .
   I believe everyday I'm just being better than yesterday , but im here , 😊 the here and now, is my world.
   Keep Lifted Blessings

5. 59:10 … "dealing with a lot of people can be like an assault on your senses … it's like a high school experience that never ends " This made me chuckle because it really resonated with me. I was so self conscious in school. Now decades later, being with a group of people still makes me nervous. CCF really has a knack for descriptive words. Thanks.

6. Always on the outside!

7. Thank you Anna your helping her is helping me too

8. You have inspired me to go into Starbucks instead of the drive through 😅

9. Anna, I’m with you regarding the possibility that Josie had a different father. We had a similar situation in my immediate family. When I was about 60 years old, a woman approached me and claimed that my father and her mother had been involved in an affair decades ago. Since my father was married with kids, Susie’s mother quickly covered up her pregnancy by marrying another boyfriend. Susie was born with my father’s dark hair and light skin. The latter siblings all had lighter hair. Susie was enslaved with household chores and even took care of her parents in their old age. Then she was completely left out of the will.

   Sadly, Susie passed away before any DNA tests or something similar could verify her story. My aunt insisted that Susie was telling the truth.

10. Hard to watch / listen to this. Feel like I've been busted. Been stuck in deep / dark isolation for a number of years now. Everyone I've none has drifted off… and I've wonder why.
    crabby, self centered bitter weird… uugghh… I didn't used to be like that / this!!!

11. That's why I'm glad I have no family.

12. I hate included 😡

13. I've gone to the extreme of the spectrum with this issue going so far as to drop out of A A. If I have any positivity in my being it's because I was an active member of the program for so long. I've been sober for over 36 years, more than half of my life. But I just don't get the whole group thing anymore.

14. It's also called gangstalking, cause stalking, or domestic espionage. Look it up y'all.

15. Anna! You’re the CPTSD whisperer! 😂❤ this was unbelievably valuable advice, thank you for providing such tailored resources for people in our situation, rather than the generic ‘how to make friends’ articles out there that always make me feel deficient.

16. Wow I related WAY too much to Josie’s situation 🥺

17. My energy to be with groups comes in bursts. I get exhausted because i feel like i have to put on the social, funny me and i can't keep this facade up for a long time so i have breakaway after my "show"

18. Hi Anna, listening to this Video is both humbling, Sobering & Triggering. I can relate to everything you've said herein.
    But I believe environment factor also play roles in this whole thing.

    From Being, bullied/Abused from childhood + Abondoned, growing up in survival mode, where I dare not express my Pain, bottling up emotions only to later blow up out of proportion when angry, to figuring life out for myself by MYSELF, trying not to get into terrible, to cleaning my mess, whenever I do, learning how to do LOT of Things for myself, knowing so much about a lot of things to the point people see as knowing so much or rather I feel people are daft maybe bcos they don't know as much I do, and so on. Some of us have over the years become hyper Independent to the point we have zero tolerance for Rubbish & Nonsense simply because our own emotions were ignored. He nce, we're not afraid to Loose ANYBODY/RELATIONSHIP No matter what after all my dakest & Lowest points I survived alone, so Fuck it (pardon my french, I'm writing how I feel right now..) . THat' I CAN DO WITHOUT YOU' mindset, makes it easy for me to do away with or Not e Afraid to loose people, relationship, + damn every consequences & moving on.
    Yea, yea I know that has affected me in various ways, but guess this is it means when they say nobody's perfect right

    Listening to you feels like yours narrating my life's journey and part my current realities & Struggles.

    I'm so speechless right now.

    But thanks for this video all the same.
    ❤

19. Josie, Congratulations on the new job! You can absolutely do this and excel! There's a great community here. Anna has helped me so much. I only wish I had found out about CPTSD sooner (just turned 68). You are strong, loving and worthy of having great friendships, Josie and you will. I'm working on it too with you.

20. In my city, the only way to make friends is being a drunkard.

21. I've never felt i belonged anywhere since i was in my 20s. i'm almost 50 now. the older i get the more i feel disconnected from everyone else. I'm just not on the same page that everyone else is on. Can't connect with anyone.

22. I don't think other people are horrible. I keep myself to myself because I'm so incredibly awkward in social situations and then get dysregulated and then go into a shame spiral. Over and over and over again. I will never be that person going out to group activities every other day(!!!). Too exhausting. Solitude = safety.

23. Idk sometimes there is a reason I can't connect to some folks. 🤷🏿‍♀️ unless they are doing the work and are aware. They friends I hold close are the ones that also have cptsd and we support each other.

24. Hey Josie…I’m sorry your family are like that. I have had similar experiences. You sound like an awesome person to me, keep moving forward..I have faith in you 🙏🏼🩵

25. This is so true!! I spent 53 years in my bubble feeling disconnected from the world and others. Two years of therapy CBT and IFS and hypnosis and I now go to outings and have parties at my own house, I walk down the street thinking I’m just another person like everyone else…and it’s the best feeling in the world! I do a lot of work on my lower/child/subconscious self that suffered CPTSD. It has changed my world.

26. Feeling exhausted if I over socialize.

27. Maybe someone here will understand me.
    I lost 6 of my family members and I witness them die one after the other.
    I lack boundaries and I can’t even say no.
    I doubt my sexuality and nobody knows about it. I haven’t have sex for 5 years now and I suffer axienty when someone comes close to me.
    I have lost all my friends. The all say same thing that I am very emotionally and dramatic.
    I can’t even bear criticism. I am always trying to control the narrative because I’m so scared of what people think of me.
    I’m tired and exhausted. I am exhausted

28. I feel so stuck and it’s so sad.
    I don’t even know what I am doing anyhow. It’s so sad

29. I don’t think I will ever be fine. I wish you can read my story. I have been sending you alot yet no reply. Please I am dying slowly

30. This is the one thing that you’ve said over the years I disagree with. I have tried and tried to connect after the age of 40. Men and women and I am still being left out, over looked, treated like shit and I’m done. I also refuse to put up with shitty behaviour anymore. Don’t leaves me alone. Everyone is busy, have families or just want to fill their own cup.

31. Frenemies are a dime a dozen.

32. Oh my God. I have been ignoring this video for years. The truth hurts yikes!

33. I can't connect because I am ugly. I find it funny how she never mentions this, I mean, women never experience lonliness but men do.

34. Those are good suggestions, but NOT in reality. For example, I volunteered for some events but everyone else were in twos. Hubby/ wife, two friends etc. If you try to be included, you're intruding. People aren't welcoming. I don't experience that. Unfortunately, I don't have $$to take classes.
    I've joined book clubs… again, no real connections.
    This is not a world where you can insert yourself. It's quite different

35. That poor girl, i can't believe she still wants to be around her family 😢 she deserves so much better

36. I always feel like I am not bonding together like the others are or seem to be doing. Also, I don't have an accurate perception of how important I may or may not be to the group. I have often gotten this wrong. Either I think i am more important than I am or i dont think I matter much and then i find out that I did. (After i already either escaped or sabotaged myself). Sometimes, actually very often….actually…most of the time I am scapegoated and bullied. Then I flee. Anyway, i have come to know that it is all about self esteem. A healthy sense of myself. Loving who I am and treating myself with respect and honorr. Then others can too. It seems like Anna was liked and included and invited to things….something I only dream about.

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