Suicide is very different from self sacrifice, avoidable martyrdom, engaging in life risking activities, refusal to prolong one’s life through medical treatment, euthanasia, overdosing and self inflicted death that is the result of coercion.
What is common to all these is the operational mode: a death caused by one’s own actions. In all these behaviours, a foreknowledge of the risk of death is present coupled with its acceptance. But all else is so different that they cannot be regarded as belonging to the same class. Suicide is chiefly intended to terminate a life – the other acts are aimed at perpetuating, strengthening and defending values.
Those who commit suicide do so because they firmly believe in the finiteness of life and in the finality of death. They prefer termination to continuation. Suicide may be an obsessive-compulsive ritual aimed at forestalling much-dreaded change. Indeed, suicide rates are highest among people whose lives are adrenaline-filled roller-coasters: physicians and Bipolar patients, for example. Yet, all the others, the observers of this phenomenon, are horrified by this preference. They abhor it. This has to do with our understanding of the meaning of life.
Ultimately, life has only meanings that we attribute and ascribe to it. Such a meaning can be external (God’s plan) or internal (meaning generated through arbitrary selection of a frame of reference). But, in any case, it must be actively selected, adopted and espoused. The difference is that, in the case of external meanings, we have no way to judge their validity and quality (is God’s plan for us a good one or not?). We just “take them on” because they are big, all encompassing and of a good “source”. A hyper-goal generated by a superstructural plan tends to lend meaning to our transient goals and structures by endowing them with the gift of eternity. Something eternal is always judged more meaningful than something temporal.
If a thing of less or no value acquires value by becoming part of a thing eternal – than the meaning and value reside with the quality of being eternal – not with the thing thus endowed. It is not a question of success. Plans temporal are as successfully implemented as designs eternal. Actually, there is no meaning to the question: is this eternal plan / process / design successful because success is a temporal thing, linked to endeavours that have clear beginnings and ends.
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Seen an in-law become this psycho taught her kids to hate me. Her side lover killed my brother her husband in 2012 the year after dude got a Harley Davidson payment from double idemnity they rigged an accident. Then in 2015 my mom died, i met this moron October 2015 just handed checks to my nephews from the estates investments liquidated, walked into the backyard there this dude thought he was smarter than me. Slurring his words like a boasting drunken fool. Personality projecting onto me his money issues with his sister. Saying to me i would haves sold that already. I told him it's not your decision. He told me he sold a wherehouse to Jay Leno for 350k boardering Burbank airport. That property is at peak price. He not know i flip houses for side hustle. So he was identified as prevalent threat that i might have issues with. Well this SOB had my nephews 2 doors away from my moms estate yelling , "we want our inheritance ". I Could hear this dude telling my nephews he doesn't want to give you your money. A month previously i did give them portion of their cut/inheritance. I ignored this moron. But set up conditions to rug pull them on rails. I set good traps the took the bait. Then They took me too court. Naturally i filed extension in that court. Pushed our date off into the future. Drag them through the mud at this point. In 2016 the day after mediation i pumped up the Airbnb plan. Was earning the estate 4500 per month. Sent all that money too my lawyer i hired. In2017 they poisoned me 11th hour of buying them out, they poisoned me, why take a portion when they can kill me and take mine. I died for 40 minutes. Very relaxing being dead although not so for me. I felt consciousness of others interlacing with my consciousness. Strange experience. After 3 weeks in a hospital. I was released my niece got angry with me once a started saying i been poisoned. She was their flying monkey. How dare isay such a thing to her. This dude had her gift bombed from promotional gifts at Paramount studios working as a sound microphone technician. 1/4" XLR plug thug. This dude gift bombed my family members. They even sent me a trail so easy to follow it just insane like this cartoon. I just hope i gathered enough evidence to remove these dangerous individuals from society they are not worth a prison sentence the horrible things i could do to them as a trained soldier exnavy. $2.50 and full tank of gasoline. Could make the world a better place. So i just hope the police and criminal courts do their thing. Thankyou Sam for confirming.
I'm so confused about my mother's perception of me. On one hand, I was infantilised through my early teenage years, but on the other hand, I was parentified as I supported her through a violent marriage for years. She killed herself when I was 17. She'd previously asked me to help her do it. She hated my father, and I was her unfortunate connection to him. She detested me for it. She told me frequently. And here I am, unable to maintain or even initiate a healthy relationship. I am terrified of being left alone again, I have lost so many people, and nobody who should have cared for me has shown any regard.
I wondered for so long where the source of my behaviour lay, why am I so vindictive, why do I have to destroy people when they wrong me. Am I evil? No! I know I'm a good person, really…
I understand myself a great deal more having found this channel. I cannot thank you enough.
Could you do a video on covert narcissist blossoming into malignant narcissist towards Ex after breakup and finding new supply? Ty
I have a question. If some mental illnesses are just biological and we don't have a treatment for them yet – aren't they the same as the physiological ones in this regard?
Trying to share in Australia this and can’t even copy because of Call Lifeline Australia info…WTF
Professor, I would like to suggest a topic for a new video.
Can you please do a video on what brain exercises or things narc survivors can do, to help restore our brain and cognitive function, and learning.
Because it seems that we regress immensely after narcissistic abuse. It makes it hard to function as productively as we used to.
I used to have a sharp mind. It’s not the same. I want to heal my brain. I understand exercise and diet is key too, but what else please?
Thank you 🙏🏼
I agree with you on physician assisted suicide issue
This helps me a great deal. Since I lost my husband this summer, I find unless I talk to someone every day, I find myself dissolving into a very bad mood and getting depressed and lonely. This stuff is fascinating and uplifting. Thank you Professor Vaknin.
Well said Prof sam so interesting. Please can you do another video on hovering. I'm being hovered after no contact and I'm falling into a terrible black hole. Thank you.
If you are so happy being alone, why are you so prolific in communicating through youtube and though texts… it's not being alone per se. It's seeking attention by proxy
Hi Sam. I would like to request or recommend a certain topic for discussion in one of your future videos. The topic is that of financial abuse of adult children of narcissists, with particular emphasis on inheritance. I suspect there are many adult children of narcissists who are dealing with the manipulations and mind games surrounding a promise of inheritance, but there is, surprisingly, very little online regarding this. Thank you for possibly considering this serious subject.
Is autistic death rate so high due to people exploiting autistic people? For example This person wrote a letter to my dad to push his car and dad being autistic hand pushed the car in 7 days or else even in his own driveway and died from heart attack is it possible that people exploiting autistic people directly cause their death because the autistic mind thinks black and white and so seeing a letter to move the car when it wasn’t moveable unless pushed is an expression of autistic people not understanding they’re being put in situations that can kill them. Is this an example of autism unintentionally dying as a consequence of the different brain processing capabilities?
Professor Sam Vanknin if my dad had autism and couldn’t comprehend death if not going to a hospital due to autistic mind not comprehending what happens etc if they cross a road and don’t think a car will run them over until it does would this explain why when an autistic person is dying doesn’t ask to go to hospital because he cannot comprehend dying if left unattended why autistic people are high risk for death by lack of awareness of death being real?
Thank you, Mr .Vaknin
Hi Sam. I am listening to for a few years now. Lately I came across your article on autocracy and „being there syndrome”. Read a book by Kosiński. Short question: what should we do to not let such a candidate to win elections by such a candidate? We have situation like this in Poland. How can we win with populism? Anu thoughts? Maybe a video on this topic. Thank your great work, you literally saved my life once😉